Jo Arlene Jewell - Online Memorial Website

This Thanksgiving,

A bitter sweet time for us kids. Bitter because we were with our momma but oh so sweet because us kids had each other. I hope that for one time God split the clouds and allowed her to look down and see us, laughing and sharing and being kids in adult skin. It was so awesome that I was no where near ready for it to end. The food was awesome and the memories we shared were for the most part good ones. Thank you for opening your homes and letting us invade you both for a couple of days. This is the beginning of many more happy memories for our families..

This Thanksgiving was spent remembering the past, living in the present and contemplating the future.  A better Thanksgiving than last!  Hopefully the memories that we can put her in the future will be full of joy and comfort.  I love and miss momma every day.  It is time for us to build on a future together as siblings.  Her memories are forever etched in our minds and hearts.  Happy Thanksgiving mom!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. A time to share with family and friends. As we come together as a family, may this be the year that our broken hearts are mended by the laughter and time spent together as brothers and sisters. I can remember thanksgivngs, when i got to eat the skin off the turkey, i remember mommas dressing, potatoe salad, and fruit salad. I will have her potatoe salad there and we remember our child hood and we will build on that as we are adults.. with children of our own, and some of us with grandchildren.. I look forward to this time with great joy and conbinded grief. I LOVE YOU ALL

From the book:
Letter to a Grieving Heart by Billy Sprague (he lost his fiancee in a car wreck) I
came across the following that was a comfort to me and I wanted to
share it with all of you.

Pam

Those not yet initiated into the club of grieving may tell you - with
good intention, no doubt - that separation from our loved ones is only
temporary. When I was grieving, I tended to separate myself from the
well-intentioned. They got on my nerves. Someone more mature in these
things counseled me to be patient with those who were not in the club.
It's simply a region they have not yet traveled. And who would wish
them there?

Memory is a country
Where I can go to see your face
But where can I go
When I miss your embrace?

Aunt Glenda and Grandmother Myrtle's departures also reminded me that
the first part of grieving is tears.

So why put off the tears? To be strong? To exert a faith greater than
Jesus had? Jesus wept. No one is that strong.

Go on and cry a river. Let it rain down like tears from heaven. And
let it cleanse and carry you to the arms of those who will be strong
for you.

Most of the tears - especially early on - are, of course, tears for
ourselves. It is pure love mixed liberally with self-pity over our
loss and our needs that will no longer be met by the one we mourn.

When my fiancee died along with our future, I cried like the
Mississippi River in flood stage. A river for her family. A river for
our dreams. And another river for my broken heart. I thought the rain
would never end. Occasionally the cloud cover would break, only to
darken again at the slightest lightning flash of memory. Then the
tears flowed until the storm passed. I forgot what stars and sky
looked like. Little by little the storms became fewer and farther
apart. The stars broke through. And many months later, after more than
a year had passed, something happened. The tears began to change. And
I hope and pray this happens to you too.

(This is the part that really spoke comfort to me)

At some point - and it can be a long while in coming, in one of those
moments when that certain song comes on the radio or when you round
that familiar bend in the road where you walked, talked, ate, laughed,
or played with the one who is now safe in heaven - as the agony of
separation wells up inside you like a physical hurt - your tears will
change. A certain alchemy like water into wine will occur. The tears
will turn from reflections of misery to jewels of tribute. They will
no longer be mostly streams of self-pity, but will shine with honor to
the one you miss. All the self-pity may never be gone, just as the
finest diamond has flaws that make it unique. But you will know when
it happens. You will have what C.S. Lewis called "clean and honest"
agony, "good and tonic" moments. The sky will begin to clear. The
color will creep back into the landscape.

He goes on to say....

That moment may not even be on the horizon yet. It is even farther
away if you are fighting the tears. But when they begin to fall and
the rainy season soaks you to the marrow, every tear along with the
tender persuasion of those pulling for you on earth and in heaven, will
bring that moment closer.

Let the tears that fall here
Turn to diamonds in God's hands
Bright offerings
From life's Shadowlands.


May the buckets of tears shed the past 12 months become diamonds of memories over the coming years.  Missing her will become part of the fabric of my life just as I see her in the mirror sometimes.

November 24, 2008

I remember this date a year a go as if it were yesterday.  I didn't realize how much my life would change forever at the ending of this day.  As the song says..If I had only known....would I have insisted on spending more time by her bedside...maybe, probably.  God has a way of protecting us from things by not letting us know everything.  His ways are not my ways but I am grateful that I didn't know before it was time.  I will forever be a changed person because of the events of the next 24 hours of November 24th and 25, 2007. 

October5, 2008

Can you smell them cooking? The melding of banana and cinnamon and oatmeal for banana oatmeal cookies. The recipe is below...maybe you can bring back a little piece of her with a little bit of this recipe.

Jo's Banana Oatmeal Cookies

1 1/2 cups of sifted flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp nutmeg
3/4 tsp. cinnamon
3/4 cup shortening
1 egg, well beaten
1 cup mashed ripe bananas  (3-4 medium)
1 3/4 cup rolled quick oats
1/2 cup chopped nuts (pecans work well)

Sift together flour, sugar, soda, salt, nutmeg, and cinnamon into a mixing bowl.   Cut in the shortening. Add egg, bananas, rolled oats, and nuts.  Beat until thoroughly blended.  Drop by teaspoonfuls about  1 1/2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheets.  Bake at 450 for 8-9 minutes or until cookies are done. Remove from pans immediately. (Yeild: about 3 1/2 dozen)

3 Plastic Bags.

Several months ago I was given 3 large plastics bags.. Pam and Lynn had gone to La. and when they came back through, they meet me in town to give me the 3 plastic bags. I took the bags home and placed them in the van. barely looking at them and thinking I would go through them in the next couple of days, but it didnt work out that way. Just in the past week have I taken the bags out of the van gone through them. These bags contained material that had been removed from mommas material vault. It has been rather difficult at times to go through the material because it brings back so many memories. In these bags were pieces of material from her days of sewing.. I found a piece of a piece of material that she had left from a shirt that she had made me when i was a teenager. I thought then that the shirt was the ugliest shirt I had ever seen, and that she really didnt want me to have any friends if she was gonna make me wear that shirt. but as I held that piece of material I began to cry. thinking what a spoiled brat I was and how that piece of material will not be a part of a very special project I have going on.

Kelly green.... know what I mean? those ugly things we used to have to wear for P.E. there is some of that material in there. I can remember momma sewing for us and quite a few other girls in the school. I hated them things.. made my knees look knobby.

Embroidered pillow cases.. I remember when that was the big thing. I remember her helping me make a set to enter in competion in Texas. She was so much more patient with me then I ever was with myself when it came to that. I guess she could be my mirror as she sat across from me and showed me the stitches. I dont think that she has any idea how difficult that was for me to learn to do. I found a single pillow case that had the cross and a set praying hands that I believe I remember her making. I remember her saying that if it didn't look as good on the bottom as it did on the top then it was not done right. Tonight I washed that pillow case and it turned itself inside out.... the work on the bottom was just as beautiful as the work on the top. a set of pillow cases were in there also, one almost completed and one that had not even been started. My eyes and hands are too bad to finish them. Maybe one of my sisters would like to have them.

In these bags were patterns, laces, spools of thread, pieces of quilt tops .... all part of the tender loving care she put into sewing. I have always loved to sew. I am thankful that she gave me that love, and allowed me to grow in that area of my life. sitting by her machine and using scraps of material to make doll clothes. She never discouraged me or told me to go away and leave her alone.. she just let me learn..  

The oddest thing I found in these bags is, what appears to be the start of an apron. I barely if at all remember momma wearing aprons. I do remember grandmother wearing them. The only thing that remains to be done to complete this apron is to put a band on it and hem it. Just another part of momma left for us kids..  

I have really missed her this past week as I have handled small parts of who my mother was.

 

Though this is yet, not another memory, I felt compelled to share it.  Today when I finally got myself together and arrived at church, I was approached by a man in our choir who wanted to tell me the special music he was singing today.  After mom died, I heard a song that has been a great comfort to me and thought of this man immediately.  I approached him more than 4 months ago and asked him to look into singing this song as a special at church.  I thought he didn't show any interest in doing it so I had forgotten about that conversation until this morning.  I stayed for both services to hear the song because it has been my comfort these past few months.


"Give Me Jesus"

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
When I am alone,
When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
When I come to die,
When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus,
Give me Jesus.
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
You can have all this world,
Just give me Jesus.


Though we don't understand, she would never chose us again.....she has Jesus and for that I am truly grateful!

May 11, 2008

Though this is not truly a memory, it is a thought for the day.  Today was Mother's Day it just wasn't the same without being able to call and wish you a great day.  Hearing your voice and knowing that you are ok.  The day was spent instead, remembering you in small and simple ways.  It actually started last night at a Mother/Daughter Dinner with Pat's church.  We all attended in your memory and to honor your bond with each of us.  Flowers at the pulpit in your memory at my church. A gathering of us girls and our families to remember what Mother's Day is supposed to be about, Mother's being honored and sharing their day with their loved ones.  We planted a rose bush in my back yard in your memory. I guess the memory that I write about is not a memory of the past but a memory created to honor a lady who meant so much to each of us in our own way.  We love and miss you.  HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. 

Well Mothers Day is approaching quickly. 

I work on the mother daughter banquet that our church is sponsoring and it brings me back to 1994.. It was a Mother Daughter banquet that I had invited momma to, I was so glad that she came. Lesa and Jo anne were there also. We took a picture outside the church. I keep that picture around to remind me of that night and the great time that we had. I know that Mothers day will be extremely hard for us this year because we will not have momma to share this special day with us, whether it would have been in person or by phone. I know that she would not want us to be sad,(that will easier said then done) but for us to enjoy the day honors us as mothers too. I am so looking forward to being able to spend time with my sisters and their daughters. I pray that Mothers Day will be special for them and that the memories of momma will bring them joy instead of sadness, (this is what momma would want.)

I Love you, Pam and Lynn

April 19th

With Mother's Day on the way, May 11th, My mind goes back to last year's Mother's Day.  Wow!  Who would have ever know that would be the last Mother's day to spend with her alive.  Pam and I decided at the last minute to jump in the car and drive to Baton Rouge to surprise her for Mother's Day.  It was truely a last minute decision that I think God planted in our hearts!  We left early in the morning and drove all day.  The trip was going to be a total surprise.  We didn't even tell Daddy because we didn't want to have to lie to her!  We got to Denham Springs and there was a wreck and we sat for almost 2 hours waiting for traffic to clear.  It was beginning to look like our plan was going to foiled with traffic.  We arrived in Port Allen in the early evening and decided to stop and get her a Pizza.  (Definitely one of her most favored foods)  We picked up the Pizza and headed out to the property.  We decided to park at the front and walk back so they couldn't see the car and foil the surprise.  We started walking across the front of the property and when we reached the tree line where there trailer is, we noticed them on the back porch. Dang!  They never sat on the back porch that late in the evening because of the threat of West Nile Virus but this day, they did.  We were busted at the tree line.  They saw us but didn't know yet who it was.  I told Pam, we better surrender or we might get shot! :) She was definitely surprised!  Our plan had worked despite all of the hurdles that we had to cross.  We ate pizza and visited a while.  When we left for our hotel room, we decided to run by WalMart to get her a true Mother's Day gift.  We decided on a pot of Impaitents.  She wasn't one who was good with flowers (must be where I get it from) but we figured they would be easy to care for.  We returned the next morning with Donuts and our Mother's Day gifts in hand.  We visited and had a great time.  When it was time to go, I don't believe anyone wanted that time to end.  I will always cherish that as one of my most favorite memories of her of all times.  She never liked surprises but I thinks she loved that one.  I will miss her terribly this Mother's Day.  I am not sure how I will manage without the opportunity to call her and wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  I am, however, grateful that Pam and I decided to follow the little voice that told us to go enjoy that one last Mother's Day with her.

This week I was in La. I asked my son what do you eat with fish sticks........ his answer was ..... pork and beans and mac and cheese... go figure. I raised them right.

When I make fish straws I still make mac and cheese with pork and beans mixed with ranch style beans... is there any other way to do it... I never thought about the fact that was instilled in us by momma.. thanks for reminding me.. now I can tell Paul why he ate that for the first 5 years we were married.. thought it was because I couldnt cook anything else.

March 30

Tonight I make fish sticks (well...they have gotten so small they are more like fish straws) for dinner. Okay, brothers and sisters...what goes with fish sticks???  Ding, ding, ding.....macaroni and cheese and pork and beans or ranch style beans.  Well, we had buttered angel hair pasta and peas with ours but it just didn't seem right. Would seem that I am programmed for mac n cheese and beans.  How about you?

March 21, 2008
Lawanda emailed this to me and I thought it fit so perfectly to mom.....she used to say a lot of what is in this writing.

MEAN MOM

Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent,
I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough to ask where you were going,
with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for
two hours while you cleaned your room,
a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children
must learn that their parents aren't perfect..

I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all.
I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
 
Was your Mom mean?  
 
I know mine was.
We had the meanest mother in the whole world!
While other kids ate candy for breakfast,
we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch,
we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.
You'd think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were
and what we were doing with them.
She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it,
but she had the nerve to break
the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds,
 learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry,
empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.
I think she would lie awake at night
thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth,
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers,
she could read our minds
and had eyes in the back of her head.
Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk
the horn when they drove up
They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date
when they were 12 or 13,  
we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out
on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime.
It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.
We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

I didn't know enough then but I understand mostly now why she was so strict.  I appreciate that now and am passing it on to my girls and the new generation of MEAN MOMS!  I miss you mom.

March 18

This past weekend, we placed a concrete bench at momma's gravesite to give anyone that needs it a place to rest. Engraved in the bench are the following words:

I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.
I think of you in silence; I often speak your name.
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame.
Your memory is my keepsake with which I'll never part.
God has you in his keeping; I have you in my heart.

Not much more to say than that.

March 17, 2008

Chocolate Easter Bunnies and Daddy.  Does that bring back old memories for anyone.  The girls and I decided that we would continue a tradition with daddy that mom started a long time ago.  We brought daddy a chocolate Easter bunny as an early Easter treat.  After giving it to him on Friday night,  I watched that bunny each and every day and it didn't seem to be moving out of the spot where he placed it.  I thought maybe he was going to start on it after we were gone.  As we were leaving, he wanted me to take pictures and he went and got his Easter Bunny.  We took a picture of us with his Easter bunny and then he took it out of the box....you know what is next if you daddy.... the back was totally eaten out of the back.  He had tricked me into believing that he wasn't eating his rabbit....just as when I was a kid.  Momma would have been so proud of him for pulling that one off.  That is when I knew in my heart....He is going to be OK.  Happy Easter to all. 

March 17, 2008

Pam and I went to Baton Rouge this weekend and had the daunting task of going through some of mom's things and helping daddy to sort through them.  Though it was mentally exhausting, we found ourselves saying.....I remember when she used to wear this, or this perfume really reminds me of her, I remember when she used this tablecloth and for what occasion.  Reading old letters and cards that had been sent by us and our children was truely special.  I hope that she totally understood the depth of our love for her.  Her home just doesn't feel quite right without her there.  It has been 3 1/2 months but it feels like a lifetime.  I find myself missing her more each and every day.  I miss you.

Saturday March 8

Lynn beat me to it...biscuits and hot chocolate.  What memories do those bring up! And, Lynn was right...she did a great job and it was like being transported back 35+ years with the taste of that hot chocolate. What do you think of?  Cold bus rides that were made tolerable by biscuits and hot chocolate? trips to the woods? "breakfast" suppers which included biscuits and hot chocolate? I can't speak for Lynn but the memories were comfortable and brought a smile to my heart. I miss her but thank her for the memory of biscuits and hot chocolate.

March 8

Today Pam and Brittany came over and we played in the 6 inches of snow that we got last night.  As a bribery tool to get Pam here, I promised her biscuits and hot chocolate.  I decided to try to make mom's hot chocolate.  Since I don't have the recipe, I had to do the best I could.  With the first taste, I became emotional.  It brought back so many memories of the mornings and evenings that she would make her home made hot chocolate and biscuits for us.  When you talk about comfort food, those are two of mine.  The comfort that comes in the memories that surround those two things is amazing.  I really miss her but am reminded in these little things that she still lives in our childhood memories.
Today was the closest thing to having her back.

When I read what Lynn had written about Momma and Easter, I was compelled to go and write this, so I could post a picture of us on one of them Easter Sundays.

February 25, 2008

Some of the best pictures we have as children is Easter Morning. Us with our baskets, running oround the house looking for eggs and treats.  Mom always seemed to love Easter.  Even as her grandchildren started coming, she loved Easter.  I think it was her second chance to celebrate a holiday she loved.  She always loved for us to get the grandkids to her house for an Easter Egg hunt after they moved out on their property.  I remember one year, she filled eggs with money, coins and dollars.  It tickled her to see the kids go after the "noisy" eggs not realizing that the ones that were quiet, when they shook them, had dollars in them.  Even up to the last time or two we visited, she would talk about that and laugh.  I will miss her this Easter holiday. 

Sunday night...February 17

I find myself in recent weeks saying quite often, "My mom would have said...." or "You're memaw used to say..."  Just today, Brittany was talking about her frustration with the way an online friend was treating her and I told her "Memaw used to say 'You don't have to be ugly, just be unavailable.'"  When I was in high school and college, she used to pick on me about being a jinx...I remember getting pretty bent out of shape about it back then...and coming to believe it for a while. The past couple of weeks have been just crazy here with my apartment flooding and then the van blowing the head gasket and I have wanted so many many times to call her about it and tell her all about it. By now...she would be telling me I was a jinx...and the thought of that actually brings a smile. I always take things too seriously and she had a way of helping me put things into perspective. I guess in a way, she is still helping me do that...just in remembering all the other times she helped me to chill out a bit and not be so doom and gloom.

February 13, 2008

For me, the words of this song just remind me of the last visit my family and I had with mom and dad.  How happy she was that we were staying with them instead of a hotel (little did I know the impact of that decision).  We stayed with them for 3 nights and mom and I stayed up until the late hours, sitting on the back porch, talking and reminising.  She was worried that I was too cold, or mosquitos would bite me but I was just savoring the time that I was actually getting to sit an visit with her.  The morning we left (Veteran's Day), we were all packed up in the car and they were standing in the doorway waiting for us to drive away and I had a thought come to my mind "I didn't take any pictures".  She hated to have her picture taken so I thought, I would just get some next time I came.  I wish I had stopped and taken that picture now!  IF I HAD ONLY KNOWN!!!! 

These are the words to the song playing on this website. For me, it says what I have felt since the morning that we got the call that she was sick.

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a life line to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you know my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known