Jo Arlene Jewell - Online Memorial Website

Sometimes it is the small things that catch us by surprise. Maybe it is a smell, a sound, or just a thought. As we were shopping at walmart the other day, I told Paul we needed some eggs. He was scanning the egg department and decided on a dozen extra large eggs. He handed me the carton to put in the basket and I paused for a moment as the remembrance of shopping with momma can back to me. I can remember her always opening the carton and checking the eggs out. I never could understand why she did that so I asked her one day. She told me, " I am checking for cracked eggs, because who wants to buy a bunch of cracked eggs?" So I opened the carton and checked the eggs out, just as my momma had done once upon my life time.

Wednesday  February 8

I found this today as I was packing boxes to move to storage because of the apartment flooding and, of course, it made me think of Momma.

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE
My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE
My mom knows a lot!  A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE
My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE
Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE
Mother? She is hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE
That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE
Well, she might know a little bit about it.

35 YEARS OF AGE
Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE
Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE
Wish I could talk it over with Mom....

February 5, 2008

Today is the Mardi Gras day.  Momma never liked to go to Mardi Gras parades because they are too dangerous in New Orleans.  When they moved out to Erwinville, she was glad that she was going to get to go to safe parades out there and catch beads for her grandkids.  I remember one year, she called and said that she had caught Lillian some beads at the parade and was going to send them to us.  Lillian was about 2 years old and loved to play dress up.  When we received the box, it was so full that the top of the box was bulging.  Lillian and Hannah have played with those beads until most of them have been thrown away from overuse.  Next year, I will try to take my girls in memory of their grandmother to their first Mardi Gras parade. 

We were told by the Pastor that if we wanted to say anything but didn't think we could make it through, just to write it down and he would read it. I tried that night to put in words something to say as a final fair well. I usually write poems as they come to me so forcing the issue was not working. It was almost time for the service to start so I took a few minutes and went to my van to group myself for what was about to take place. As I sat there with a broken heart for my dad and siblings and myself this came to me. No its not a poem or an essay but just a way to look at the beauty of nature and God's wonderous gift to us in life and our mother.

 

So the sun rises to warm the day and rest to cool the nights

The snow falls from the sky and it's beauty covers everything for us to enjoy

A flower blooms and it's fragrance fills the room ( especially the rose)

We are born into this world and grow up and enjoy this life we had

 

So was my mother,

Her smile was like the sunshine that brightened the room and warmed our hearts,

She was as captivating as the snow and as beautiful as the rose

She was everything to everyone she met.

I only wish that I had told her more often what she really meant to me.. but those will forever be, words unspoken.

February 1, 2008

This is not really a memory but I found it and thought it might help my siblings with their pain! I just picture her saying this to us...grieve not for me! 

Don't grieve for me,
for now I'm free
I'm following the path
God laid for me.
I took His hand when
I heard His call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
to laugh, to love, to work or pray.
Tasks left undone
must stay that way,
I found that peace at
the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
Perhaps my time has
seemed all too brief,
Don't lenghten it now
with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts,
and share with me
God wanted me now,
He set me Free.

February 1, 2008

Pam and I discussed where we wanted to put our Eulogy from mom's funeral and we decided this memories section because the Eulogy is actually our memories of who she was in person and character. 

A mother is....A loving heart, a helping hand, a willingness to understand, a ready smile, a word of cheer and everything that is kind and dear.  These words all describe my mom.  She was a mother to not just her children but to all people. 
SELFLESS is another word.  Always doing for others above herself.  She never wanted "to put anyone out".  She had a servant heart and NEVER asked for anything in return.  I will strive to make you as proud as possible, mom.  Go rest now.....you have earned it.  I love you.   Happy Birthday.  Love Lynn

I think of these words now and there is so much more I could have and maybe should have said about who she was and continues to be.  She lives on in her children and their children.  Her legacy lives on in our generation and many more to come.  I love and miss her each and every day. 

January 31, 2008                                          10:00 p.m.

I wrote this very early the morning of Momma's funeral. It was read by the pastor during the testimonial time.

Yesterday a dear childhood friend asked me, “What will you miss the most about your Mom?” My response was, “talking to her.” Since I have been away from Baton Rouge for the most part since 1983, our phone calls have been our relationship lifeline. Even before then, talking with her was something that was special to me. I remember when I went away to college and would come home for a break, we would sit at the dining room table and catch up until she had to “get up” to fix Daddy's breakfast…our conversations lasted through the night without us even knowing it. I will always cherish the memories of those all night talks where we covered every topic imaginable. In recent months, busyness has impacted the frequency of our phone calls but I always knew that I could count on Momma to be there if I needed her.

 

Cheryl told me yesterday that Momma was one of those people that did not have to work at being a Christian…she just quietly lived it. Momma, as I remember, was always a caring person but in the 70’s, I do not remember the specific date, she met the Lord in a personal way and she was never the same again. She taught Sunday school….four year olds…and loved it. She was thrilled when one of them would come to know the Lord. People would say that a four year old couldn't possibly know what they were doing, but she would just shake her head and say that she could see a difference in them. Momma gave God the glory for the good things in her life and in who she was. I have no doubt that as we sit here missing her terribly, she is with Jesus and those whom she loved who have gone before us. I know that I will see her again.

 

Jo Jewell lived her life in an unassuming, simple way. She, perhaps, would think that she made no real impact on this world, but, oh, would she be so wrong. She touched those that she met with her smile and her kindness. She taught her children what it meant to live life for others. You won’t read about her in Wikipedia or in World Book but, oh, the impact that she left. She leaves a legacy of strength, intelligence and class. My Mom used to say with a smile...when it comes to class, “Some cats got it, and some cats ain’t.” Class is not something that you can buy or acquire….my Mother had no need of acquisition as she was a classy lady through and through. Momma, you left such a hole when you left this world, but I will try to fill that hole with the lessons you taught me by your quietly lived life.

 

Daddy, know that she loved you with all that she was and wanted nothing more than to be with you and care for you. She had what she wanted…she had her life with you.

 

Momma, I will sooooo miss you and I hope that I have begun to pass on your example of caring for others to my own children. Rest in peace, I will see you again someday, and we will never have need of a phone to cover the distance between us. I love you.

 

Pam

I was thinking about the pictures from the hospital. I recall someone saying that daddy did not really want us taking the picture because he thought we were doing it to remember momma being in the hopital. It never was about that but about years of time that had passed since we had all been together. I think that we really thought she would come home and this would just be a memory to hold us over for years. We went on ahead and took the pictures anyways, and in the process daddy came out of the waiting room and saw us. He then stepped into the picture with us. How special that picture is to me. I will cherish that moment forever. I love daddy and I pray that he will continue to draw strength in the love of his family.

I was thinking of how little things impact our daily lives...moments in time frozen in our memories. When I was in jr. high school, not sure what grade it was, we had to have white sneakers for gym class. Well, the rage then was stripes on the sneakers, right around the top of the rubber part. Of course, I wanted a pair like that (what middle schooler wants to be different?) and I got very pouty about not having those sneakers. She proceeded to get a black marker and color a line around the top of those sneakers...and you know what, they looked no different that the expensive sneakers that we could not afford.  That day I felt ashamed...ashamed for being so petty and so ugly....but I also felt something else, loved. She could have told me to suck it up and get over it and sent me on my way but that small act which she had probably long ago forgotten has stayed with me all these years. Gosh, I can still see that pair of sneakers in my mind's eye.

January 28, 2008                                                                        3:30pm

I was trying to remember some of the funny things that happened with mom and one story keeps coming to mind.  Back when Lillian was a baby, mom decided that she wanted to go into Medical Transcription because that was something that I was doing at home and she needed to earn some more credits for retirement.  She came to Memphis to learn how I had everything set up so that she could get ready to go to school and learn this trade.  While she was here, Pam and I talked her into going to Tunica, MS for a night at the Casino's (I know, it isn't the most Baptist thing to do but it was just to pass some time).  She agreed, reluctantly and brought her 10.00 to spend.  She stated that once the 10.00 was gone, that was it, it would be time to come home.  Mind you, Tunica is an hour away from home so I thought, what was the point but we did it anyway.  I took my 20.00 and Pam hers and off we went.  We got there and mom inserted her 10.00 and low and behold, after .75, she hit a jackpot.  It wasn't much but enough to wind her up a little.  We pulled her away to go get dinner, when we turned around, we couldn't find her but we could hear a machine in the background going.....ding, ding, ding.  I looked at Pam and said, surely not.  Low and behold, when we rounded the corner, she was raking up the quarters into her cup.  She looked at us and said "I only put in one quarter as I was passing by.....".  Her winning streak continued and she walked away, several hours later, with her 10.00 plus a couple 100.00 more.  I will never forget this time of shear enjoyment for her.  She had never done anything like that before and never did again.  She went home with more money than she came with and that was good for her!  She never let me forget that she was the lucky one after that.  Seeing her happy and enjoying herself was priceless.

January 26, 2008

Tonight I remembered some of the reasons why I loved her so much.  Even though we weren't able to see her as often as we liked, she had such a huge impact on the lives of my girls.  Chris reminded me tonight that before we went to Baton Rouge the last time to see her, the weekend of November 12th, Hannah was insistent and very happy that we were going to see "her grandma in Louisiana".  She felt the importance of going to see her as I did.  God not only laid it on my heart to go but the heart of a 7 year old little girl.  She spent more time talking and visiting with momma during that visit than any other visit.  Every time I think the pain of her being gone is easing, it just gets deeper.  I am missing her terribly tonight.  Wishing I could call and hear her voice just one more time.  Just to hear on my answering machine one more time, "This is your mom, I'll call back later". 

Today is 2 months since Momma passed away, yet sometimes it seem like forever.

I think back to the day that Mom, Tabby , Destiny and I went to Visit momma. It was October 8th. That was only the 2nd time had ever seen Destiny. I wanted to take pictures so that I could have them to show Destiny in later years. Little did I know that that would be the last time that I would see my mother alive and able to talk and that those pictures would be the last ones anyone would take of her.

Her and Mom spent time visiting becasue they had a special friendship that they had developed through the years. Momma would always call Mom and tell her when the pecans were full and ready to pick. Mom would go out there and spend hours picking pecans and visiting with momma. Mom thought very highly of momma and daddy she enjoyed every chance to go and visit.

Momma had gotten an old paint can for Destiny to go out and pick pecans. This would prove to be very exciting for Destiny. Momma was not feeling up to coming out so she stayed in. We went outside to the big tree in the front yard. Daddy came over and told Destiny that she could pick them out of the tree. He also showed her how to roll her feet on the ground and find the ones that were in shells. She would be walking and get so excited when she would find one on the ground. we picked pecans for about 45 minutes and then we went inside.. Destiny had to show momma all the pecans she had.. momma smiled and told her "well that is good".

Shortly after that we left, with all the intentions in the world of seeing her again on Thanksgiving day, with Paul and Cody (tabbys boy-friend), as she often asked how Paul was doing. I know she would have been glad to see him. Our time with her and the family on Thanksgivng Day was in no way what we had planned. Buts God's grace is sufficient.

January 24, 2008

Speaking of having babies, Lillian will be 10 years old in 4 days and it seem like just yesterday that momma was here to celebrate the birth of my first child.  She was in the room with me until they started talking about a possible c-section and she let Chris take over then.  Chris would try to comfort me during that extremly hard delivery but the only one that could completely comfort me was her.  She was so proud to have another grandchild.  We didn't know that even then, her health was starting to deteriorate.  It would be 6 weeks later that we would recieve the call about her first heart attack. I just prayed that the Lord would give her a few good years to get to know her granddaughter and He gave her enough years to see more grandchildren and even great grandchildren born. She didn't always get to see her grandchildren like she wanted to but she loved them just the same.  My kids didn't get to see her but about 2 times a year but I made sure they knew who she was through pictures in their rooms and phone calls. I wish they could have known her a little better but her memory lives on in their hearts and I will continue to tell them how much their grandmother loved them. 

I can remember that Sunday Morning, September 13th, 1981. It was the first official grandparents day.celebration. As the hours ticked on, there was chatter of the future grandmothers in the waiting room. It was to be the day that momma got her first grandchild, actually the first grandchild on both sides. Momma was anxious as she came in the room to see me just minutes before I was taken to surgery. She tenderly kissed my head and told me it would be alright. I was not there to see the excitement on her face as they brought Ashley into the viewing nursery, but I can only imagine that she was smiling with excitement as her and mom talked back and forth about the blessing that was their granddaughter.

There would be another time that I remember momma watching over Ashley. It was after a serious car accident that put her in traction for 6 weeks. Flat on her back, at 18 months old there was very little ashley could do. I can remember momma feeding her and brushing that head full of curls. Momma would blow bubbles to Ashley just to make her laugh. She would put her in the window so she could she watch outside. Daddy would also take her outside to sit on the swing with him.

January 21, 2008

I know why we will never be able to give up donuts!  The many trips to Dunkin Donuts and Krispy Kreme donuts after church and on special occassions.  Watching them make donuts and thinking how cool that was.  I take my kids to the donut shop and it just doesn't mean the same.  What about Frost Top?????  Rootbeer floats!  In answer to Pam's question, yes I do remember the trips to the Planaterium and the Science museum, the Old State Capitol and The new.  She was the lover of learning.  The last time I saw her (one week before she got so sick) she was showing Lillian how to improve her vocabulary by using the READER'S DIGEST Word Power.  She always loved to learn new words.  There are so many details that I think I missed about her that I wish hind sight, I coudl go back and learn.  She was a very interesting lady! 

This is an excerpt of a writing that I found after momma died that Lillian wrote.  I found it very enlightening of what she really thought of her grandma.  She didin't get to see her much because we live so far away but each visit left a lasting impression of who momma really was in her eyes.  She was a strong, caring and Godly lady.  Those are the memories that I want her to continue to carry of her grandmother. This is written by a 9 year old so the English isn't great but the feelings are real.

She was a nice person. She taught Sunday School to little kids when she was a teenager. She was one of those people that you would meet once and then next time she would be gone. Well for me she was sort of like that the last time I saw her. She seemed as though she was in perfect health and had a great life for a lady that was almost 65. She was a nice lady like I said.  She was my grandma, she meant the world to me, she was my everything.  I guess people do not understand what some people go through to stay alive. Some people have to be taken care of carefully and some have to be taken care of not so carefully. My grandma was both. She was cared for greatly, she was also loved greatly.  We looked forward to our long trips to see her and never actually called her Grandma Jewell, we called he Grandma In Louisiana. She was Grandma In Louisiana. She was that and more. My Grandma was really more like a person who lived in the woods in a 7 room trailer (including kitchen). 

As she grew older she was no longer able to go to church because she could not drive and she had moved a long ways away from the nearby church. She was on here way to becoming an older person living in the woods, and having to rely on my grandpa to pick things up for her and bring then to her. She could no longer go to the grocery store. She had arthritis in her legs and had knee problems which led to having surgery done on her legs. She liked to talk a lot about the bible to me and my sister. We would sit down and listen to her long lectures about the bible. She was determined to teach me and my other cousins about how to live a life through Jesus and how not to be a sinner, and how to be a good person which leads me to say that she was a good person. 

I saw something that I had never witnessed before and that was death. It was a scary thing for people to think that this is going to happen to them someday. But again it is a time when there is a healing process. There are tears but death may sound like a horrid thing to speak of but it is also a good thing for someone in pain. They are in a better place and that is all you need to remember. Some times I would think about my grandma and ask my self if I was going to be like her someday and I would say to myself “Yes, you can be Lillian if you keep a good mind about god and good things instead of the bad things in life“. My part in this story is the little girl that 
had never knew what it was like to loose someone so dear to you that from time to time you just burst out in tears no matter where you are and who is watching it just happens. Then when you are done crying and moaning some one wants to comfort you and you don’t need the comfort because you know that this person that you are crying about is in a better place then you are for sure. After a love one dies you start to see people around you say that there grandma skinned there toe and you say what ever because that is not half as bad as seeing a family of great people start to cry because they lost a loved one. I hope that none of the people that might read this short tiny book don’t look at people and say that there grandma or family member skinned there toe and then that person is a person who is going through that sad healing process. People think that when you have a loved one die it is no big deal because some people say that life goes on and things that happen will one day be forgotten. When someone tells you something like that then they are just trying to change the subject because that don’t want you to have the attention. People will antagonize you after a loved one dies. Especially if you are my age, some people will get on you and won’t let go. I think that these people have not yet had a loved one die and do not know what that is like. Some people just don’t know. 

As oldest, I suppose I should have the most memories of Momma...but as the oldest, my brain is getting foggiest the fastest I guess. As I read Lynn's synopsis of her life (which was very good), I tried to fill in the blanks with what I remembered. Do ya'll remember the trips downtown?  We would go to the Old State Capitol and to the Planetarium and walk down the streets in downtown. Then we would go to eat at Woolworth I think. It was so special to go out to eat as we didn't do that much. Momma loved learning new things and so wanted us to love learning too. Perhaps the foundation to my life choice of being a teacher was laid in those early years of making school and learning important. She even loved taking her grandkids to the LASCS down by the river when they were younger and she was stronger. I will always think of those places with fond memories of time spent learning and loving.

January 17, 2008

This is not really a "memory" but a reality.  Everyone keeps telling me that this is going to get easier but nothing seems the same.  I thought that November 20, 2007 was one of the worst days of my life but on November 25, 2007 at 6 something, my life as I knew it, changed forever.  The only people who can totally understand that are the people who were in that room with me that morning.  I am not sure that they totally understand what happened to me that day either.  I have come to realize that the pain that is felt during the grieving process is very personal.  Some days are better than others, which isn't saying much, but most days, are tougher than I ever thought.  I can't imagine what daddy is going through right now.  I miss you so much and I don't have your essence around me each and every day like he does. I miss you terribly. 

December 23, 2007

Ghosts of Christmas past.  I keep thinking of her today.  I have always said that I thought the saddest time for a family to loose a loved one would be during the holiday season.  I didn't know that I would one day experience it.  I remember the many times that she and daddy stayed up all night long putting bikes together, setting out toys and wrapping presents.  We would wake up at 4:00 am to find everything under the tree.  So excited to open presents, we would go wake them up (or so we thought) and they would get up with us.  Once the presents were all opened, we would all pile in the car and go to Evangeline Bakery to get a Gingerbread man cookie.  She always liked to down play her love of Christmas because she didn't want to take away from us.  Even when she had no money and was working 2 jobs and going to school (when the older three were babies), she told me of a time that she received a plate of food from work and brought it home for the kids to have for Christmas.  I wish I had spent more time the latter years making sure that I made her Christmas' special.  She only wanted a card!  Her gift from us was that we would be with our families on Christmas day.  As if she weren't family. I only hope that my kids will have the kind of selfless memories of me at Christmas as I do of her.  Chris said to me toniight that he was going to make this a special Christmas but he can't give me the one gift I would like to have this year, my mom back.  That would be the greatest gift of all.  I find myself wanting to go to her house and fluff her tree for her this year.  THE FLUFFER TREE!  Shove it in the box at the end of the season and fluff it up the next year.  That was her Charlie Brown Tree.  What a special little tree.